My sister Taty was born with a heart condition. The doctors told my mother that she wouldn’t make it past one and even if she had a shot at living she would be in and out of the hospital but my mom wanted to give her a chance to experience the real world. My mom always wanted what was best for her kids, my dad on the other hand was an alcoholic. He always said he didn’t have a favorite but everyone knew Taty was his favorite. When Taty turned 6 we started a family tradition where we would go camping the first half of summer and come back the second week of july. One night before leaving to go camping Taty starts to mumble something-

“Get mom i can’t bre-

“What?” i say in confusion 

“Get mom i can’t breat-

It was too late. I was too late. I felt like I killed my own sister like I was the only one who could save her but I didn’t .I failed Taty. I failed as a sister and a daughter. In that moment I didn’t just lose my sister but my mom was gone too. I was hurt, Taty was my best friend and now she’s gone. I couldn’t believe it, all I could think for the rest of my life is what if. 

“It’s not your fault” my mom would say in the sweetest and most comforting voice ever. I felt sorry for my mom because not only did she lose her youngest child but she couldn’t show her emotions because she was too worried about mine. I never really understood why she tried to put on a front. Just looking at her you could tell she was going through a tragedy.  Emotions where something me and my mom never really talked about but checking on her was necessary at this point in life. 

“Talk to me momma, I know you’re not ok? I say hoping she’s willing to open up

“Your right, Lindsey, I’m not okay, I feel like I’m failing as a mother. I feel like my whole world is turning around. I just want it all to end, I miss Taty so much, we’re going to keep our tradition alive in remembrance of her but your fathers no good and I want us to get away. I’m trying to put on this big act but really I want it to be all over. I love you Lindsey forever and always and I just want what is best for you.”

 As we began to get closer to the campsite keeping our family tradition alive, I started to notice the trails along the grass and I thought to myself “I wish Taty could see this”. I began to doze off but as soon as my eyes shut 

“WE’RE HERE” my mom yells! 

Getting out of the car I noticed that my mom had a frown on her face. I could tell that she was anxious about something. After Taty died my mom started heavy drinking and hasn’t been herself, so I go to ask her if she is ok but as i’m walking up to her she begins to twitch. In confusion I tried to get closer for a better look but she was gone. 

“Lindsey is that you” my dad asks as I walk into the cabin

 “Yes dad, it’s me. Have you seen mom anywhere” I ask my dad. 

“No” he says while popping a xanax and chasing it with beer

“You know that’s not good for you , you really need to stop before you end up like mo-”

“Lindsey” a voice whispers. 

“Mom is that you”.

 “Lindsey” the voice whispers again, it sounds like my mom but where is she? I dust the whispering off and go to sleep! 

*police sirens*. 

Waking up distraught I hear police sirens and it sounds like they’re getting closer. As I get up to look out the window my dad comes storming through the cabin angry. I could tell he was angry by the way he pacing around the room. 

“ go to your room lindsey”  dad says viciously 

“What’s wrong?” I ask

He pulled me over to the side and immediately his face changed like he was hit with a wave of guilt or depression. “Your mother is missing” he replies and in that moment i drop everything and my whole life flashed before my eyes. Everywhere I turned there was an officer it was like as if someone robbed a bank and all I could think to myself was –

“Lindsey” 

There it goes again, that voice. Slowly gathering myself together I start to follow the voice but it leads me to a dead end. A few hours pass and my mother is still yet to be found.

“This is bullshit, none of this would be happening if your mother would have just listened to me, she’s all about herself. Maybe this is for the better, Maybe this is how it’s supposed to be. This is all of God’s fate.” dad said as he’s tribbling down the hall drunk

My father and I never really got along but when we lost my sister he became an aggressive alcoholic and I tried my best to support him but sometimes he takes things out of proportion. 

“C’mon dad you need to get some sleep” I say as he’s yawning.

Stumbling on his words he says something that really hit a nerve, he says:

“You don’t tell me what to do, i’m the adult, i’m the one in charge, im the boss, if there’s really a problem you could have went with your mother and made peace”

“If you’re such an adult then act like it and go look for your wife , I shouldn’t be putting all this effort in and I’m only 15. You need to do better and get yourself in check.” “i see why mom wanted to leave” i mumble to myself 

“What was that” my dad said trying to keep the argument going

“Nothing, goodnight’ i say making peace 

While going to my room I notice a light in the bathroom, I ignore it. I start to see the same light flicker, I ignore it. A few seconds later I start to hear walking but there’s nobody to be seen. There’s knocking on the walls. It starts to get aggressive and louder.

“Whos th-”

The front door opens. Windows began to swing open and all I felt was wind blowing through my hair. I’m stuck , I can’t move and my breathing is heavy. I’m sweating, I cant focus and i feel like i’m about to *BOOM*! I hit the floor and my eyes began to close. As I slowly wake up I start to get a rush of memories. *KNOCK KNOCK* 

“We need to have a talk with your father immediately, is he anywhere around?” the officer said as I opened the door. 

“What’s going on?” my dad asks as he flies around the corner to see what’s happening. 

“When was your wife born again” the police officer asks my dad 

He goes on and on asking my dad questions like this is an interview when he should be looking for my mom. Minutes later the same officer is still questioning my dad but I start to get a rush and those same memories from earlier come running back. All of a sudden I remember my mom died 2 months after my sister due to a car accident. She got really drunk one night and went for a drive. Speeding down the road, she ran a red light and was t-boned. 

  “Dad moms not missing, she’s 

“Sir your wife isn’t missing she’s- 

“Dead”